i'm not done with writing stories, writing them down, or just imagining them in my brain. no, i'm not. but for now, i'll stick with just "short" (use this word in your own definition), blogs about these that may not matter so much to you, but to me, they mean a whole lot more than you know.

it's senior year, last year in high school. i don't feel excited, or anxious. or sad, or rebillious. i don't feel full of school spirit, or full of just wanting to get out and experience all of the perks there are to being a non high school goer. because you know what? i don't feel anything about it. i feel that after i graduate, i will go to college more than a dozen scholarships that i have applied for. i will go to study english, make friends that don't complain about not having as many friends as it seems like everyone else has, and appreciate the ones they have. i'm tired of being expected to act a certain way, and to comfort everyones feelings. i am a human being. i have feelings. i don't expect anyone to comfort me. others should do the same. no one will be there to comfort them in college, in universitys, or whereever they will be.

i know it's only the second day of school, and tomorrow will be the third, but i'm still not feeling what i am expected too, what i am supposed too. i also feel like i am pushing myself too hard, and too little at the same time. i'm taking hard classes, ap english, anatomy, yearbook (which isn't mentally hard, but i hear it is physically, having to stress about deadlines, pages being perfect, you know what i mean, i'm sure). of course i'm taking fun classes too. adv. art, and i do consider ap english fun, just stressful. i t.a. which is boring and interesting at the same time. i take adv. guitar, but i feel like i should do so well in that class, and have it be so easy for me.

sure, i took beginning in ninth grade, but i've been playing guitar since 8th grade. sure, i didn't learn the notes, or how to read music when i took lessons, just the chords and how to use them, and make them sound different and unique. in beginning guitar, we learned how to read notes, how to play by notes, but i forgot everything i've learned in that class, which is no surprise, since i took it three yeras ago. so i'm going to switch out, and find a new elective. one i haven't experienced yet. i wish it were creative writing, but that leaves me with the choice of, adv. art or creative writing, since they are both only offered 2nd period. i think that is what i need. i don't need repeative classes. i don't need the same needy friends that overlook me, and look at friendship in a sideways view, not fully understanding it. i need new experiences. not school spirit, although, that would also be a new experience, but not one that i need right now.